The Confession Of A Solitude

Have you ever thought of crowning over your loneliness?
Or have you ever thought of dreaming in a dream?
Have you ever?
There is a state of oblivion above your thoughts
Where mind matters and your body floats
The state of absolute emptiness shrouds you
And then your hatred turns into reverence

You walk through a tunnel of liberation
Only to find your deepest realization
Time does not leave a trace
And life will set you free from this rat race!

Have you ever thought of dismantling your soul?
Or have you ever thought of a hibernation?
Sympathies become irrational and love turns into a test
Memories breaking through the pupils of your eye
And tears turns into your foe

Within the aura of your mortality
Mind shaping into an another form
Death cannot be a fear anymore but life is a threat
One day you will see me again my friend

When my memories will call your name...

Portrait Courtesy : Panchali Bharali

This Landscape Will Call My Name (Part 2)

A ravage delusion in the spree
Unforgettable emptiness under the sky of this endless landscape
Deeper marooned hope for a solitary bond
Memory of a few passing laughs which are in the run

The sun has set itself to stop in time
And the trees are rhyming with the wind
Only a few cry ahead,I found the lake
Aesthetic natural erotica for me to take

This moment shall not see an end
Childhood nostalgia  makes a comeback
Non visual rendition of a coma is keeping me into the track
And a few momentary intimacy which are going to break

We will not be together forever my friend
But this landscape will call my name...

The Final Statement

The life I see through the pain of your eyes
And the moment i steal from the hour of your disperse
Years passing by in your solitary exile
Salvation comes through an undisputed bile

There has been a change through this endless winter
Or name it as a forcible soul domination rather
The movement in your veins has been vanishing slowly
Disheartening initiative,mind rupture!

Rescue work begins with a little unexpected love
Only to find it's way through the wings of your 'mind dove'
Call all of your Gods in this hour of your need
Requiem flashbacks with all of those passing greed

Life are you still listening?
Or is that death in your door,whining?












Suggested music :  Inade- The Ocean Of Fate

Into The Unknown

There is life in silence
Like there are countless waves in the ocean
We all are the listeners
But i know only you or only me can hear
The countless numbers of untold whispers
And the unseen liberation of feathers...
Up in the air or down in your dreams
There are pain within them to get unleashed
And there are memories thrown away by human greed
I know someday this world will understand you like me
And that day i will write down my own memory
Into the unknown...

A song to accompany, Hammock- Artificial Paradise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSor2K2PXB4

Celestial Epilogue (The Death Of A Star)

Gravity falls, deserted view from the vacuum of infinity
Hibernation of luminosity and exploitation of energy in the celestial sphere
Slowly dripping cosmic lava of a burning desire
Turning it's shape into a massive form,
A red giant-bearing the grief of others!

Once a guide to a celestial navigation
The wanderer for many centuries and the creator of earthy instabilities
Calming down in coma, clearing it's way to nebula
Your warmness will be a remembrance in the form of a supernova
Your spirit will be taken away by degenerating every fusion you take
The intense breed of your brightness-takers are many
And your sudden collapse-followers are none

In the vast infinity of galactic void,the death of an another star occurs
Leaving it's space for the time to come
Your remnants will fill the void now
The sky will fill itself with your celestial charisma

Takers are many but followers are none...

The Second Liberation

And then she tastes her scythe
With the pleasure of a nocturnal nightingale
Away from everything and beheaded from affection
The days show no attraction of their longevity
Or the nights will not lose hope upon the male sovereignty



The goddess of temptress , the fire ov hell
Hollow sights of blinding love,and mandatory grace of memory
Keeps their hungers apart,bows down their hope
Now is she liberated or is she still need a lustful of greed?

In the dead of the night,he turns into she and she turns into he
And in the rays of the sun,what she can think of is 'let it be'
The words of love turns into droplets of violent wine
And the promises of togetherness turns into funeral wind

Her breasts bear the mark and her child witnesses the truth

Ohh thy Women,the creator of earthly beings
And the bringer of nocturnal fire in the hell
Rise above the dominance, leave no trace to destroy
One day the violent dawn will arise
With the command of ten hands and the beast...

And the victim will be - US!

Illustration Courtesy- Panchali Bharali
https://www.facebook.com/panchali.bharali

Demise Of An Ideal

can you see it,can you see it?
the sweet pain of salvation
out to burst wide opened,slowly taking the pain away
can you feel how do we crave for our sweet damnation
we grab our hands in the wake of death
cold lullaby and endless horizons
We all die laughing

Beginning to breed amongst the horde of common paradox
A snail pacing movement to come out from this hypocritical hoax
We talk,we lie and we forget...
Until the hours call our name and reminds us about our shadow fame
A grave hypothetical beginning of a lie
Lays it's purpose for salvation on us
And let us die!
We all  die laughing

Capitalism rupture and rational acceptance for survival
Blazing victory of wealthy proposals and pathetic demise of the ideals
Do we know it?Can we see it?The domination of nationalistic shovels
Digging through me,digging through you and ripping apart the Gods!
False promises of guiding angels,cruel truth and the reality
None shall survive and none will so

Prayers are turned into screams and chants into pain
How do we end this?

We all die laughing!

Inspiration: The Angelic Process- We all die laughing
Link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J32tqYe1XuM

Title illustration: For artistic purpose only

The Solitary Prison Of Love

As we cross the night of love and oblivion

There are shattered dreams of collateral desolation

Memories call us in our twilight zones

And empty bond of acclimation runs through our flesh and bones

We try to rise above the tides of lust

And again and again the sky full of tears make it vast

You may not want to give me a name...

But how do we spare ourselves from the memories that remain

We wake up in our lonely nights

And try to find an another reason for love making rights!

The morning looks beautiful again

How do we expect for a evening full of rain

Slowly the aroma of burning wood coils up in my cave

And the magic of blood red wine makes our souls brave

The touch,the kiss and our skin-the elements for what we crave for

The heart finds it's solitary prison,we leave no trace to find a reason

Evening makes it's way for midnight and midnight for dawn

Blood,sweat and flesh- all becomes one

The morning becomes empty again

As we leave the place with two empty smiles

The ray of sun comes crashing by

And leaves my crave shattered and broken

The aroma of your skin stands by

And the moments ask for mercy

As we make the best of ourselves in the night

Only to become strangers here after...

UNCONDITIONAL... NATURAL... UNBELIEVABLY BELIEVABLE SOLITARY PRISON OF LOVE!

Music inspired by Hammock- Together alone(Departure Songs 2012)
Picture by myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQZEr_wG2AQ

Absolute Liberation

Your search for your liberation
Hides beneath the deeds of your depravity
You put your soul into coma,and your heart beneath the pile of a lie
you let Your mind to become a slave of your greed
Commuting through the horde of soulless human beings turning into  beasts
Family is mandatory and commitment is a lie
You lose your empathy to surrender and you better choose to die

Die You must die mechanically morphed creature
the goddess you worship in the morning
you turn her into an objection of lust in the night
The wrath of goddess falls upon your burning skin
sodomized,raped and victimized
In your vanity of greed

your days are over,now the funeral pyre burns
In the depth of hell and your soul makes a run
The silent gods of mercy weep silently
The smell of your burning flesh reaches the gloomy sky
Human life,starts with a truth to be unveiled
And ends in a lie!
You still run for your moksha,you soul decimate to die...

My Time,My Irony-The journey throughout in a Nutshell

Tony Iommi- Black Sabbath

Introduction:

METAL- what they call is 'society's nightmare and heaven (or rather hell) for the rebellious,anti social,anti religious 'scums' of the society!A destructive,venomous musical genre which can make the tempo of your grand parent's heart beats high or which can turn your school teacher's honest lovy-dooby face into a engulfing fireball.Ever since it's existence on earth after Toni Iommi decided to tune down his guitar a bit to teach the hippies a lesson,it has been continuously inspiring thousands of rebel homo sapiens in their time of desperation.Call it a speeding locomotive or a unstoppable twister,it torns you apart once it hits you with vengeance.My tryst with metal started way back in early nineties.I still remember that classic wooden almirah at my uncle's place where a small sticker of Angus Young (guitarist,AC/DC) always used to caught my attention.Like any other school going toddler,curiosity was driving in my mind about that man giving an weird pose with an electric guitar in his hand and wearing a school going uniform with a tie on.Well nevertheless to say that the side locks of my cousin which was bigger than the usual size was also driving my mind to wonder about the fact that people who touches guitar,they looks a bit unusual than their normal counterparts or at least they tend to to do.By the time i became 10 years old(or i guess so),i had realized one fact that my usual taste for life had been taking a different turn.Both of my parents were working person and this gave me ample of time to explore several new things.I have discovered everything,from cigarette packets in my elder brother's bag to my mom's poems!And during my private investigations after my school in the afternoon I draw my attention more and more into painting and nature.Well I have to mention this as my best buddy during my diaper days was a hen named '' Oly'' and several ducks. Well I don't know why am I writing all these but probably I am digging my own history to relate it to the lyrical contempt of the music I listen to and I worship.

Angus Young- AC/DC

 Growing up:

 Ever since then i had started adding numbers to my age,I had started getting more inclined towards nature and animals.Well i still remember talking to the doves sitting in that guava tree in our home.Also remember touching a cobra  with my bare hands for which my mom actually about to lose her voice and senses!Well I have to add a little twist in the story now!Being all these things are very personal,I hope I am not crossing my limit in expressing my inner self.During my growing up years,I had been facing enough of violence and hatred in my own home for which I had started to realize and identify a few human behaviors which infect could be pretty alien to understand at that age.My parents-both of them were into government jobs and they did not have even enough time to solve the problem for themselves and that was one of the reason when i was left little unnoticed.I was getting influenced by small weird things.I still remember during those winter nights,our house was under construction and I could clearly view the open sky through the window.I didn't know if it was an actual feeling but I just used to gaze at the moon in the sky through out the window and along with the midnight mist,it had created a melancholic aura in my mind.My mom was an awesome poet and she used to pen down her moments of desperation through her words.And yes how can I forget that,my elder brother used to draw awesome paintings too!So along with that melancholic moon-gazing moments,those paintings and poems had already started giving birth to a rebel in my mind.I had started becoming more demanding and had started opposing everything!From the food my mom was serving at home to the shows they were playing in the TV.There were those frequent opposition to dad(for which i always regret now,not for the issue for which I had been opposing but for the words I was uttering)which turned into verbal wars!During this time I had started getting more and more into drawing and poetry.I was a hero in the painting competitions they used to held in the numerous occasions in our small town.And I remember i began writing my own poetry when I was in my fourth standard.

 Stage one:Glam Rock

Guns N Roses

              I am cutting this short now, but all those above mentioned incidents were mandatory to mention in this write up as those actually influenced a lot in choosing my music or rather my religion.It was the year 1995 - 1996 if I am not wrong,I have decided to add a little melody to my poems.By that time I was high on bands like Scorpions,Iron Maiden,AC/DC and Journey.My home town was pretty small and you actually get to know everyone with names who possess same musical taste or may be why not even the same food taste!And I remember only a few handful of people used to listen to music like this at that time.And I remember they used to leave a mark!There was this infamous rock band by some of our super seniors who was pretty famous for acts like putting 'telcom powder' in their hair to create ''effect'' on stage. Okay let's come back to the melody part now,so I was trying to mean that I had decided to catch guitar particularly like immutable 'Slash'.I demanded a guitar at home and for unknown reasons,everyone were dead against it!Well let me mention this,half of my family members including my relatives were behind me to make me a Doctor once I would grow up.I am still not able to find the reason behind it but I looked my face in the mirror and I did not find any single trace of pathological signs on my face!So may be this was one of the reason why they were against handing over a guitar in my hand!My fate was silently watching and smiling over all of these incidents and he or she actually pointed an arrow of luck towards me and blessed me with a guitar. The first thing I did was draw the Guns N Roses mascot on it!Probably I was the happiest kid alive in the universe on that day.I had joined guitar classes under the guidance of Santanu daa- the glam hair waving,fist fighting guitar player in our town.I began to feel myself like all those glam rock stars and I actually tried to imitate them in all the expects.From getting my boots from Dimapur,making my jeans skinny to drinking and smoking like them.Well yes I was too young to do all these but call me it's my fate but yes I got fully involved with the vibes of Glam Rock.

Stage two: Love,Grunge and realization 

The numbers in my age were increasing along with  the standards in my school.By the time I was in my seventh standard,I had started to learn playing a few couple of songs in my guitar.Eagles,Firehouse,Guns N Roses, Bryan Adams were a few of them.90's were the beginning of the Grunge movement,The out of the ordinary rebel songs of Nirvana and  mad stage acts of Pearl Jam had started driving my attention.I have to be honest with myself over here that I also find them easier to play than the bluesy solos of Slash.And moreover it was pretty fun to play those three-four chord songs after having a beer.I need to take you to an another story over here!Being a small town boy,it was pretty hard for me to find music in my home town!There was no MP3 or internet in those days and CD was a distant dream!I was lucky enough to have Philips Stereo player which had given me enough of honest company till I got this Aiwa HI Fi system from my mom much later.Kids of my age who used to listen to the similar kind of music,used to have a small circle where we used to do tape trading,sometime we even used to pay money as rent!But trust me the beauty of those cassettes were priceless!They were similar to 'the sunshine after a hard day of rain' to me.During this time,there were another series of important incidents happened which actually inclined me more towards music!My first heart break and my prolonged illness of Bronchitis for which I used to suffer a lot!I used to stay angry and devastated most of the time! I turned into a frustrated and angry Grunge boy.And somehow I regret this period of time in my life as it was pretty unfortunate, I was slowly turning into an angry young man who had been slowly choosing his own path of destruction by his own hand.Okay now comes the interesting part,I still remember the date-it was 26th of January,I was peddling my hometown alone and randomly stopped by this small music shop.And I would call it as my point of salvation,a particular demonic artwork of an album attracted the attention of soul and made me buy it too.I hardly got as much excited as I was on that day!Played it loud at home and instantly fell in love with it!It was 'Iron Maiden-Fear of the dark' and this album changed everything i was belonging to-my thought process,my taste in music and the way I was leading my life,It made me realize the fact that there are more to music then being a baddie!Well people remember heavy music changes your life!It did to me!I had started taking music more seriously.The second phase was filled by a band called Manowar,whose lyrical theme and the album covers attracted me a lot!My second sketch on my guitar was the logo of Manowar.By the time I became 12 or 13 years old,I had completely deviated from Grunge to Heavy Metal.Finding music was still a hard task for us but somehow we used to collect it from someone visiting Shillong or Guwahati.

Cause of Death,Symbolic and ever after
What happens when somebody puts gasoline into a pond of hot and devastating lava?It was the year 2002,when I came in touch with the aura of this morbidly beautiful cover art of Obituary- Cause of death,From the beginning of the first song,John Tardy's haunting and devastated growls kept me wondering-How come a human sing like that!Before coming to know about Obituary,Slayer and Sepultura were the heaviest acts I ever came across!I also bought myself Death-Symbolic as a gift to myself on my birthday!And Chuck Schuldiner's innumerable musicianship and extra ordinary lyrics influenced me more than anything till date!These two bands became demigods for me and I have to mention that these are the two classic acts who made me to dig more and more music.They will be the best extreme metal bands to me till the day I die or ever after may be!

Obituary-Cause of Death

Max Cavalera-Sepultura

With Textures after breaking my wrist in the mosh- 2009

Death-Symbolic

I kept on dreaming about having a band on my own!Sepultura's - beneath the remains added more fuel to my fire!I wanted to play as fast as Max Cavalera.In his own words ''I want to play my guitar in a way that it hurts me and I could feel the pain''.My tryst with forming a band in my hometown came to halt after getting to know a few of the most respected musicians in my hometown!I used to respect them a lot earlier but not anymore since I know them well since ever after!I did one or two small shows with them and the only songs i enjoyed playing were- Sayonee by Junoon and Scorpions- Always somewhere.I wanted to do something more heavier but they were not ready to do that as in their perception it would not be very much crowd pulling.It was a definite time to say good bye to them!During this same time my good friend Subhashis Bora and me started playing acoustic versions of everything!From Nirvana to Black Sabbath!The acoustic set we played in our annual school festival in 1998 was the most memorable gig I ever played!Crowd was wondering and we were playing our heart loud and in the end we got a very few appreciation but we were more than happy that at least we had done something nobody had ever tried to do !I came to realize the fact that without going out from my home town,my journey to the musical milky way would be very much limited!Till 2003,my only source were cassettes, a few CD's and RSJ (Rock Street Journal).I came out from my home and stepped in Bangalore in 2005.And probably the best decision I have taken ever in my life.I had joined college to pursue a management degree but my mind was always in search for the actual salvation.Went into several auditions for different genres of musicians!Well till then I had added an another skill to myself-GROWLING and SCREAMING! I was unfortunate enough to miss the audition for Arcane Ritual in Bangalore(Probably the first ever Black metal band from India) as I got their call in the middle of my final examination!I regret it till today although they are not active now.But I was fortunate enough to came in touch with the live music scene in Bangalore through this particular pub called 'Styx' and a few musician friends.I had joined this BDM (Brutal Death Metal)band called BLACKBLOOD in 2005 and trust me they are the most heaviest act I have ever associated with!I still need to find a drummer who can play death metal/Black metal like my friend Siddi!We were crazy,relentless,god haters and our music was total annihilation!Even we formed a black metal side project to abuse the local commercial musicians! Funny though!We have been inactive from 2007 since all of us are busy building our careers and feeding our hungers.In 2007 I also joined a couple of other musicians to form a Thrash/Death outfit called 'Sacred Remnants'- pretty tight as the name suggests!We played crazy shows,earned appreciations and became famous too!Sadly got disbanded after a year due to musical differences.Soon after all of us moved to different directions.Profoundly they toned down their music and formed other successful counterparts named as 'Theorized' and 'The bicycle days'.But I am happy with the time we had together.The moment you get on the stage and you raise your arms and then a sea of metalheads raises their hands with you-that feeling is over whelming and magical indeed.You feel like you are your own creator(or rather Kreator)- being a human, proud always,sigh!

 BLACKBLOOD - http://indianbandshub.blogspot.in/2010/10/black-blood.html

In all these eight years of living in Bangalore,I am lucky enough to witness several International artists.I am sure if I name a few,almost every kid will feel jealous who has started listening to music!From Mark Knopfler to Testament- I have seen them all.Went mad,moshed like a barbarian,formed wall of death,broke my hand,met musicians-well yeah I have done it all.I have been building myself as a human over music.It has been teaching me to become more sensible rather than becoming a nerdy narcissistic,it has been teaching me to understand the value of life rather than merging into the over populated and disposable commercial aspects,it has been teaching me about different cultures ,different races,it has been supporting me to overcome my grief,it has been giving me company like a noble girlfriend and never made me feel alone,it has been motivating me to workout for a healthy mind and a healthy body.Well the list goes on...Today I proudly stand amidst the horde of a black t shirts to rage my fists in the air and to announce rebellion against this corrosive society and corrupted system.It makes you feel like you have joined an army of soldiers invading countries.It makes you feel proud to be alive,relishing and vanquishing your dreams.I feel proud and I would like to take it to my funeral pyre and probably will hunt the younger generations in their dreams as a music fanatic spirit!

Enough I left to say and more I need to learn.Actually stopped writing diaries a long time back and I am closing this chapter by saying a thank you to google for giving us  enough of spaces in their servers to make our thoughts immortal.GOOD MORNING folks.

and i will cherish you forever...peace and love...

and i will cherish you forever...peace and love...: and i will cherish you forever...peace and love...

Evolve

Over the coldness of the great Himalayas
I found blood dripping from the cliff
Forming  shape of an another war and sadness
The dying mother's hand and the sins of his father
Calming down the mountain and the wood of emptiness
The heartening cry of my comrades,loosing themselves in the shades of death!
The pale embrace,the hatred overdone,I am all alone now

In the woods of solitude and in the death of silence
Searching for the peace unknown and the misery unexplored
My gun is empty or my soul is tired, I am lost!
Lost inside the greed of land,lost inside the fear of death
The  weeping death or my silent fears...

I march ahead,dead blood dripping ahead...
The headless cross or the destroyed tomb of allah(Ishwar is dead already)...

The womb of the mother nature is bleeding
She cries out for help with the cries of animals
And the sun departs silently...
No sun now,no hope now,only pain remains
Devour the unborn,devour the light!
The destiny smiles and she is ashamed...
Out in the aura of dead souls,we make the death erotica bright
Relations gives apart and religion smiles
The death and salvation for which we crave and cry

The delusion of death and life meets in the end
I die and you choose over death and life
And we dance on our life,our mother's pride
Wake up to a nuclear morning and raise up to an uncertain hope!
Hatred for hatred and flesh to flesh...
For the countries that falls apart!

Upon the death of innocence and upon the death of us
The silent march,the relented hate we are marching on
Marching on!solitary of death!bring it on...
EVOLVE!BORN!DISPERSE!

Photo courtesy : Saloni Sinha
See her and get mesmerized at : http://salonisinha.daportfolio.com/

Victory

The distant skies are falling off in the horizon
With an attempt to bring back the cloud of grief
The rainbow of dream vanishes with the last rays of sunlight
Mother's hope of bringing the boy back
But hardly she knows that his journey has come to an end
The smoke of blasting canons coils up in the sky
And it holds back the tears of gods!
War for a small piece of tract,peace for nothing
The divided rules of humanity and religion
Grows immaculately,stops at nothing!

In the name of god,we march ahead
Blaming it on Ram or Rahim
Salvation is our guns,thirsty for blood
Break the reasons mothers taught us,swerve the water into blood
Life of misery and hope for freedom makes a dead end
The guns will blaze again in the skies of our nation
And the flag of our nation will be holding us lifeless on the ground
Over and under,breed an another generation
For the freedom and victory of our nation
Feed them hate,immortal hope of burning desire
A desire to kill and destroy,annihilate the bonds
Who loses and who wins?

Photo courtesy :  http://lightbox.time.com/